Monday, December 31, 2012

The lastpost in 2012

After almost 7 hours of flight, and 2 hours of drive, HOME sweet home!

Since morning, except the time I went to school to 보건소, I had been checking the email. Not knowing when the scholarship would announce the result, me and my friends could do nothing except checking the inbox. I was..nervous. Even minutes before boarding on plane, I still was checking email via phone.

After 7 hours, 'To Malaysians, welcome home! And to foreigners, welcome to this wonderful country!', all I was thinking was, to get wifi to check if I had any email from the scholarship.

No figure beside Inbox. No new emails.
No scholarship?

I did not really know how I felt that time but to be honest, I was worried, and very much disappointed. 
As I kept asking whys and hows, I lost peace, and focus. I could complain to no one here, so I did it to Him.

Not until the next day, pastor reminded us that 'He knows our future! and He has provided you what you needed best, and still will provide you in the future!'

Thinking back, how He has brought me to where I am now, these 5 years, and JPA scholarship was one of the best gifts in my life, I was again thankful for His blessings. I did not really ask for it yet He just gave me freely. Now, even though I did not get this scholarship, I should be having the faith that He is going to provide, in any ways, just like how He has provided me these 5 years. He has opened the door for me to pursue my studies, I want to have the faith, believing that He IS going to bring and lead me till the end of this new journey of life.

'I am your refuge and strength, an ever-present Help in trouble. Therefore, you don’t need to be afraid of anything......If you focus on such dangers and forget that I am your Refuge in all circumstances, you will become increasingly fearful.'

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
—Psalm 46:1–3

'As this year draws to a close, receive My Peace. This is still your deepest need, and I, your Prince of Peace, long to pour Myself into your neediness. My abundance and your emptiness are a perfect match. I designed you to have no sufficiency of your own. I created you as a jar of clay, set apart for sacred use. I want you to be filled with My very Being, permeated through and through with Peace.

Thank Me for My peaceful Presence, regardless of your feelings.Whisper My Name in loving tenderness. My Peace, which lives continually in your spirit, will gradually work its way through your entire being.'

As 2012 is coming to an end, I want to send this year off with a heart of thanksgiving, casting down the worries and fears to Him, and to welcome the new year with hope and joy! 2013 is going to be another year filled with His presence and blessings! 

Blessed 2013 ahead!!


Magdeline said...

hmm..dun worry.tell me when u need $$.although i'm not rich but i'll try to help out.Cheers n smile:)

p/s:dad n mum were about to comment but dunno y can't@@

Anonymous said...

How r u feeling now? I've read ur blog with mix feeling. Happy because you now know that money is not easy to come by and how difficult it is for parents to raise up children. Sad bcos I feel very helpless. I can sense the frustration that you r feeing. Let me assure you that everything will be OK. You r looking to God for blessings but at the same time you r limiting God. You thought that God can only bless you with a scholarship from the varsity but you fail to see God blessing you through other means and directions.
When you looking to God to bless you from the North, you fail to see God's blessing coming from the South, or the East or the West.
You have been blessed much more that many other. There r millions who failed to get the JPA scholarship. There r millions who do not have a family. As for you, you have adorable brother and sisters, a loving and secure family.
During ur vacation in Malaysia, u went to more shopping than others and u watched more movies that other. God knows how desperate you want the scholarship but that is ur want. He promised to supply ur needs. What u need is a good family, a partner who cares for you and a strong faith to carry you thru' difficulties.
As for ur want, just leave it to me. I'll see you thru ur masters and PhD education. I've prepared the money for you already. You don't worry. Just do ur part and I'll do mine. What you need now is for God to show you the path that you need to take and the partner that you need to live with for the rest of ur life. These are more important than the scholarship. The scholarship is for 2 to 4 years but ur career and partner is for ur whole life.
We will continue to support you and pray together with you. God has answered ur prayer but you didn't see it. God has given me good health so that I can work. God has given you a good mother in whom you can confide. God has blessed you with wonderful siblings so that you can share you jopy and sorrow. There r many others who do not have these. So, start counting ur blessings and give thanks.
As mum and I read ur blog over and over again, tears of joy and sadness flow down our cheek. We are joyful because our little Michelle has finally become a lady. Sadness feels our heart because we have to let you go and fly away from your comfortable nest into the space of unknown. It may sound scary but trust God. He is always with you. He will guide your small steps into big success.
We miss you and care for you.
Luv from:
Dad and mum.

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